Welcome!

I’ve just reached the small milestone of completing 10 posts. 10 posts is not a lot to most people, seeing as my Instagram has over 400 posts but in a short quantity of content, I have been able to open up to an audience who accept and understand the honesty and the experiences I have shared with them.

I realise that pouring my feelings into 500-word posts for anyone to see is a dangerous risk to take. With the development of technology, you can post anything online and someone will see it. That’s guaranteed but the content I devise and publish is personal and honest. It’s about stringing together words which make sense in my head and placing them onto a virtual page where hundreds of interested readers can follow my experiences and hopefully navigate through them with me.

A number of people have asked me why I started blogging, my response being that I began this blog just a few months ago to create a coping mechanism for the bad spells of anxiety that I was getting regularly, I’ve always been interested in blogging; just not having the confidence and self belief to go for it but now I’m glad I did. Writing my feelings on a page and out of my muddled head makes me think and feel clearer, it takes away the Anxiety behind them and makes them publicised and less constricted in my head, because if an audience can read them and understand them, why can’t I?

Blogging has been a place where even my insecurities have slowly fizzled out, as I type on my laptop the most personal thoughts and feelings, the shaking hands slow down and the heart rate decreases. The response I have got from these posts have been so uplifting and reassuring, there are people out there who care and who are interested in my busy and complicated life but I’ve gained so much confidence from this that I would hate to stop doing what I love.

Blogging has been a platform where even my fears of the future have depleted, I look forward to the days ahead instead of fearing tomorrow. After all, it’s just another day.

I began this process to be a voice for people who feel as though they don’t have one; to inspire and motivate the people out there who feel as though they need reassurance and hope. If you’re reading this; it gets easier.

Here’s to the next 10 posts. Remember: ‘Be a warrior, not a worrier’

I woke up this morning to a world which had been transformed overnight with a blanket of thick, perfect snow. I haven’t seen snow since I was about 10 or 11, so, naturally, I threw on clothes and walked out the door, braving the flurries of snow and cold air.

One of the many reasons why I enjoy being outside when the weather is cold is because of the quiet streets and roads. The snow fell and in the distance, the sound of laughter and footsteps was the only noise being made. I feel as though snow and flurries of it have the ability to slow everything down and to make the world a calmer and less busy place. As a person who struggles with anxiety, I felt myself completely relax and feel my feet on the ground, crunching the snow with every step.

As we haven’t had snow in the UK for a few years, the whole experience felt like I was in a dream; taking me back to childhood memories where sledging down the hill, crashing into mounds of soft snow and howling with laughter became a normality every Christmas. Today I threw snowballs, I howled with laughter, I got very cold cheeks and my hands felt like ice, but I felt like a kid again. And underneath my layers of jumpers, scarfs and coats, I didn’t feel my heart pound with apprehension and anxiety and for the first time in a while, I felt better.

Recently, in terms of my Anxiety, I haven’t felt good, and I felt that today was the perfect time to allow myself to relax and to be able to enjoy myself- going for walks and getting a cup of tea in my local bakery whilst the snow was falling outside made me feel safe and enclosed, unable to worry about the next hour or if school would be open tomorrow(update:it isn’t).

It’s strange to think that just over a year ago, I felt a lot worse to how I feel now. I don’t like to talk about it but the patience and time I took out to make myself feel better again was the best thing I did for myself, because over a year, I’ve done things which I never thought I would achieve, and the confidence I lost is coming back again. It’s important to remember that if this time of year doesn’t sit well with you, just enjoy it if you can- because days like this, where the world is quiet and you feel safe and enclosed will help you feel better again. Take the time out needed for yourself. It will be the best thing you will do for yourself.

A lot of my audience will follow my Instagram and Snapchat, and regularly see posts of a furry friend of mine called Archie. I decided to write this weeks blog post on my dog because he’s a happy part of my life and although cliché, he’s something that I love very much.

Archie is a rescue dog, from Dogs Trust and is a collie x labrador crossbreed- imagine 2 energetic breeds in one; walks with him are certainly entertaining, especially his pathological hatred for hedgerow animals, and squirrels whizzing up and down trees. And his eagerness to run around the fields and chase anything which isn’t another canine is hilarious, it’s hard to slow him down!

We’ve had Archie for 4 years since he was about 4 years old. When we first took him home, he was quiet and nervous, I remember trying to throw a stick for him to retrieve and him quivering in fright- we don’t know much about what happened before we rescued him but due to the scars on his neck and sensitiveness to changes in pitch in your voice, we imagine he was ill-treated and abused. Nowadays, he’s a much happier pup, always having a grin on his face and furiously wagging his tail whenever he sees people. Archie has a wonderful personality; very loveable, happy and affectionate- whenever I’m having a particularly bad day due to Anxiety or I’m upset, Archie apparently can sense this and therefore cuddles up to me. I remember when I was crying and he licked the tears off my face, bless him.

I once read an article which said that stroking a dog reduces the anxiety symptoms and feelings that someone may feel. Archie has been able to calm me down during numerous moments.

Archie always makes my family and I laugh, especially when he’s sleeping and chases animals in his dreams, his little feet twitching vigorously. There are many things that I love about Archie, a few things which make him different from other dogs is his striking white mane, white paws, the white flick on the end of his tail and the fuzzy white eyebrows, he’s aged gracefully! Archie doesn’t act like he’s 8 years old, he still acts like a crazy puppy- like when we rescued him 4 years previously. My happy, bouncy and full of beans pup.

Now that we have said farewell to the delights of summer, and hello to my favourite season: autumn. This week, I’m going to focus on the things I’ve learnt over the past year. As someone who revels in cosy jumpers, making my way through numerous mugs of hot, steaming tea and a sucker for sweet treats, Autumn, by far, is my favourite time of year. I associate Autumn with a time to reminisce over memories which are good, bad, and everything in between.

A year ago, combined with a complete lack of confidence and belief in myself and the debilitating effects of anxiety issues, I wasn’t feeling good. At all. I don’t remember much, it all feels like a complete blur and when I think of the experiences I had, that was a time that I associate with being tough, draining and not pleasant- I tend to block it out and not think about it, but today is an exception. Over the past year, I’ve thought about the experiences and lessons that I’ve learnt from, and today I’m sharing them with you- purely to put these thoughts out there, onto here, and to inspire and motivate the people reading this.

1. Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone– Last year, even walking out of my front door and going outside became difficult for me, it was only after Archie’s bright eyes and wagging tail every evening after school that persuaded me to put on a coat and face the fear of exposure. Everyone’s comfort zone is different and no matter how big or small your barrier is, you can diminish the size of it if you believe in yourself and your abilities. Stepping out of your personal comfort zone will give you confidence. There is nothing bad about stepping out of the bubble around you and it will give you the sense of achievement that you deserve.
2. Look after yourself, both mentally and physically– I’m sure you’ve heard it all before- that looking after your mental health is just as vital and important as your physical health. But believe me when I say this: allow yourself to look after your mind and muscles. There is only one of you, and if you haven’t had a good day, or life is too much, take as much time as you need to do something, big or small, which will uplift you. For me, this ranges from small joys like having a bath, or larger things like taking Archie out for a short walk.  This is different for everyone, but it’s important to maintain a peace of mind because keeping yourself happy is more important than many things. Sometimes, you should put yourself first.
3. If you need help, ask for it. I was always too scared to ask for help both in and out of school. It takes a lot of confidence to tell someone that you need help, whether you’re stuck on school work or if you don’t feel good emotionally by counselling, mentoring, or talking to your loved ones. If you need the help, find it, because finding help and talking about how you’re feeling can be a really good way to lift a strain off your shoulders, no one expects you to solve all your problems by yourself, this is why organisations have been created to be there for you if you need the help. I remember reaching out, with the help of my family and friends, to local organisations and asking for help to minimise the anxiety symptoms and finding ways to relax. Once I started receiving the support that I needed, after a while, I began to feel better.
4. Spend time with the people who you love. Your social network is one of the most important things to have. I know that if I’m not feeling myself, a quick text or a conversation with any of my friends, family, or the people I love helps to alleviate any stress or negative emotions that I’m feeling. Building strong bonds and having good relationships is so important to have because these people make your life seem a lot easier, brighter and happier. I know that my friends make me laugh, smile and enjoy life more than if I didn’t know them- so, if you’re reading this, and you know who you are, thank you for being a part of my life.